The first year living together can be very demanding and it is at this point that many couples separate. Know the main challenges of this phase of relationships.
Did you start living together recently? Married right now? The first year to live together is full of new challenges. Let’s talk about them!
When we look at statistics on divorce rates, we see that the highest rates are around 7 years of relationship, but the 2nd highest rate of separation occurs during the first year of home sharing or marriage. Because? Because this transition phase is fraught with great challenges.
Here are some of the most common first year challenges to living together:
1. THE SHARING OF A COMMON SPACE
The logistics of sharing a space and common objects is a crucial stage of the first year of daily living. Whose space is it? Whose furniture is it? Can I put my huge infantile chest of drawers in the bedroom? Who has more space in the closet? Does the other person really need so much clothing?
2. LEARNING TO LIVE WITH THE OTHER’S ROUTINES
Learning to know and respect the habits of a loved one can be a challenge. Early risers and night owls, or those who love a weekend of laziness and the person who just wants to do activities outside the home, may need some time to get their routines right.
3. CLASH OF HABITS
It is common to have a shock of the habits of the couple in the beginning of the daily coexistence. The confrontation between the one who is tidy and the one who leaves all the dirty dishes on the counter is unavoidable, or between the one who appreciates the silence in the house and the person who loves to have the music loud and always live in a party atmosphere .
4. COUPLE VS. TIME TIME FOR EACH
Reconcile couple activities with the individual habits and activities that each couple element wants to maintain may seem like a simple task, but usually it is not. As much as in the courtship phase they have talked about each other’s habits, reality is always different from what was imagined and planned.
5. EXPECTATION VS. REALITY
Each element of the couple created expectations and a vision of what life would be like for two during the dating phase. Usually, when the couple begins to share house, the reality shows up different from the expectations created. The other person may be much more energetic and demanding than what he or she thinks, or may have habits that he or she did not know and that take him seriously.
6. MORE SOURCES OF CONFLICT
When couples do not live together, the distance is easily used to avoid conflicts. Yes, the other person may have done something uncomfortable, but not having to live daily with this habit that bothers so much helps avoid conflict. When coexistence becomes daily, the sources of tension tend to increase.
HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY OVERCOME THE CHALLENGES OF THE FIRST YEAR TO LIVE TOGETHER?
The first year of living together entails many challenges, but this does not imply that they can not be successfully overcome. Instead of falling into the temptation of constantly arguing or, rather, yielding to every whim of the partner, couples should talk as adults, accept that this new phase is fraught with challenges, and confront them together.
Be direct and negotiate. Do not leave subtle clues waiting for the other person to guess what they want for the relationship to two. Do not give up on the first setback, after all, we all have defects and personal characteristics that need to be improved. Learning how to deal with conflicts and overcome the most difficult phases with maturity and support is one of the factors that will determine the longevity and health of the relationship to two .